One thing that should be taught at all universities is that

 individuals should not be constantly making explanations.

I'm not talking about the kind of apologies people offer

 when they run you over, borrow $5, or step on your toes.

Because I believe that's a cute idea;

No, I oppose to only one type of apology.

Which is when people waste their and

your time apologising for all they own.

You have dinner at their house.

They also apologise for the fact that

the anchovies aren't caviar and the partridge isn't veal.

They quietly apologise for the rudeness of the other visitors.

They also publicly apologise for their wife's housekeeping and their husband's jokes.

If they give you a Dickens book but it isn't by Scott, they apologise.

They apologise for the acting, the conversation,

 and the narrative if they take you to the theatre.

They hold more milk of human compassion than even the largest diary.

If you're from out of town, they'll apologise for anything local,

 and if you're from another country,

 they'll apologise for everything American.

Even as I picture these apologizers, I dread them.

I shiver at the thought of how many hours must be spent opposing them.

Because you are being impolite

 if you allow them to win an argument.

And it is your responsibility to persuade them nicely

that anything they have created is great and glorious.

What irritates me the most about them is that

Is it true that you have to nicely contradict them

half of the time when you disagree with them?

So, with the comb and nail file, as well as bicarbonate

 and fragrant spirits on hand, I believe there is one guideline

that every host and hostess should follow:

That is, don't give away the ending by telling the visitors

everything is bad; instead, let them experience the joy of discovering it for themselves.

Swathi M

PhD. Research Scholar

Department of English

Directorate of Distance Education

Kamaraj University

Madurai -625020Email: mercyhelen38@gmail.com